Here is my disclaimer: If you are looking for a fluff piece about Christmas or a "spiritual" rendition of why Christmas is holy, then you probably haven't been reading my blog and/or you don't know me.
The statement that Christ (Jesus) has been taken out of Christmas is absurd. Now, wait, calm down. Yes I still live in the same world as you. Yes I have seen the roughly 1 million annoying blow up Santas (and all his blow up friends) littering the yards of Indiana. I get it. BUT none of that would have EVER started without Jesus being born first. We haven't taken him out, we are simply ignoring him.
By the way, for the record, ignoring him is worst. Let's put it in a real world scenario. Let's pretend it's the Queen of England's birthday, and they are having a HUGE party at Buckingham Palace. Now lets say instead of the press taking pictures of the Queen, they are taking pictures of the magician that is performing. Stupid right? WE ARE DOING THE SAME THING WITH CHRISTMAS.
Now in our home, my girls believe in Santa. Santa brings gifts. But if you ask my girls what Christmas about, without missing a beat, they will tell you it's Jesus birthday, who came to die for the bad things we do, and rose on Easter. Just like you wouldn't kick the magician out of the party, Santa and Jesus can co-exist. It's important though to remember that one is fictional and one is a real live breathing King who deserves celebration of his birth, and the gift he was to all of us, whether we choose to open it or not.
People talk about the magic and belief of Christmas. But then they go on to talk about Santa and all the magic he brings. It is important for us to teach our children that while Santa is great, he is just a person with LOTS of Christmas cheer. More importantly, Jesus is the Son of God. Who came, and was perfect, and died to save us from eternal separation from God. He is the reason Santa is so full of Christmas cheer in the first place!
Jesus can't be taken out of Christmas because he is Christmas, without him there is no Christmas. We, as Christians, have to decide to not let him be out shined by the entertainment.
Just a small comparison to show why it is so important to teach Jesus as the reason for Christmas:
Santa: Jesus:
He is human. Bound to make mistakes. Jesus is the Son of God. He doesn't make mistakes
Santa refused to allow Rudolph to be part Jesus accepts everyone no matter how they look, or
of his team initially because he was different. if they are different. You don't have to prove
He had to prove himself through actions that yourself to Jesus. Just accept his grace.
he was good enough.
Santa is mythical. And at some point your Jesus is real and tangible in your life if you let him be
child will catch you doing a Santa job, that and the things that he does in your life cannot be
that part of the magic will be gone for them. replaced by anyone.
Santa is a hermit. Never seen. Never If you desire it, you can have a personal relationship
heard. with Jesus. If you give him your time, he will give
you his.
Again, this blog is not to get you to take Santa out of your home. He is alive and well in mine. But more importantly, Jesus is alive in our home. And not just on Christmas and Easter, but all year long...but that is another blog all together :)
Merry Christmas!!
What Makes Me Keep Going
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Is It Bedtime Yet?
I know it has been roughly 100 years since I have posted anything. See the title of this blog, well, that is my excuse.
But as I find myself with a little spare time, I'm going to write about my new favorite topic: bedtime. No, no, no..not my kids' bedtimes, mine. With every child, my bedtime has been pushed back. One night this week I didn't sleep, although mostly due to one too many things on my mind. (One would've thought, since I was awake all night, I could have found a few minutes to blog.) Somehow, I made it through almost 48 hours of no sleep, and accomplished everything I needed to without crashing or freaking out.
In the midst of the 48 hours, however, I made a decision. I need a bedtime. I need a set time where I say, "everything else will wait until tomorrow, now it is time to sleep." A time when Facebook is shut off, television is silent, and "to do" lists are put away. So I have decided for me, pending some unforeseen event, bedtime is 10:30, unless it's the weekend and I get a nap in (LOL).
Last night I went to bed at 11. (Hey can't get everything right the first time.) I had a late start time at work, so I got 7 hours of sleep. SEVEN HOURS OF SLEEP. ON A WEEKNIGHT. This is unheard of, but I will tell you what, I was the most productive I had been in a long time. Furthermore, this evening as I was home alone with my three girls (husband is on the road again), when two large kinks were put in the chain of my evening. I rolled with it. No internal (or external) freak out.
I always thought the secret to a happy family was well managed bedtimes, I just didn't realize the one that needed managed was mine.
But as I find myself with a little spare time, I'm going to write about my new favorite topic: bedtime. No, no, no..not my kids' bedtimes, mine. With every child, my bedtime has been pushed back. One night this week I didn't sleep, although mostly due to one too many things on my mind. (One would've thought, since I was awake all night, I could have found a few minutes to blog.) Somehow, I made it through almost 48 hours of no sleep, and accomplished everything I needed to without crashing or freaking out.
In the midst of the 48 hours, however, I made a decision. I need a bedtime. I need a set time where I say, "everything else will wait until tomorrow, now it is time to sleep." A time when Facebook is shut off, television is silent, and "to do" lists are put away. So I have decided for me, pending some unforeseen event, bedtime is 10:30, unless it's the weekend and I get a nap in (LOL).
Last night I went to bed at 11. (Hey can't get everything right the first time.) I had a late start time at work, so I got 7 hours of sleep. SEVEN HOURS OF SLEEP. ON A WEEKNIGHT. This is unheard of, but I will tell you what, I was the most productive I had been in a long time. Furthermore, this evening as I was home alone with my three girls (husband is on the road again), when two large kinks were put in the chain of my evening. I rolled with it. No internal (or external) freak out.
I always thought the secret to a happy family was well managed bedtimes, I just didn't realize the one that needed managed was mine.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Holidays and Family
Holidays are great. Family is great. Mixing the two? Not always great.
Every year, every holiday, my husband and I do what I like to call the "dinner dance". Where will be having dinner? Will we visit multiple places? What do we have to bring? What will we wear? And the biggest question: Can we make everyone happy?
Of course I want to spend the holiday with my family, and he wants to spend time with his. But we both understand that marrying each other meant we would also have to try to accommodate the other person's family.
The problem is different theologies. I believe in tradition. Let's do the same thing every year. Growing up, we went to one grandma's on Christmas Eve, and one on Christmas Day. No surprises, no running around.
The theology on the other end is a little different. We wait around and beat around the bush, and then plan at the last minute.
99% of the time, it turns out. I run around, schedule and reschedule, cook at the last minute, whatever, and we make it work. 1% we have an issue like this year where only one of our family members makes it to both.
Regardless family is family. You make it work when you can, and hope to God no one kills you when you can't.
Every year, every holiday, my husband and I do what I like to call the "dinner dance". Where will be having dinner? Will we visit multiple places? What do we have to bring? What will we wear? And the biggest question: Can we make everyone happy?
Of course I want to spend the holiday with my family, and he wants to spend time with his. But we both understand that marrying each other meant we would also have to try to accommodate the other person's family.
The problem is different theologies. I believe in tradition. Let's do the same thing every year. Growing up, we went to one grandma's on Christmas Eve, and one on Christmas Day. No surprises, no running around.
The theology on the other end is a little different. We wait around and beat around the bush, and then plan at the last minute.
99% of the time, it turns out. I run around, schedule and reschedule, cook at the last minute, whatever, and we make it work. 1% we have an issue like this year where only one of our family members makes it to both.
Regardless family is family. You make it work when you can, and hope to God no one kills you when you can't.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Stop! Too Fast!
After our third baby, we decided we were done. Three was enough (sometimes more than enough) to handle. We love our girls. But knowing we can have no more, it makes me want to slow down time. So tonight, when this happened...
... I cried a bit.
How could this happen? How could she be old enough to be losing teeth? She just got them all!
And then, not five minutes after this happened, our youngest stood for the first time in the living room for about 5 seconds.
That time I cried a lot.
I wanted it to go slow. I wanted to savor every moment of their childhood. But life moves forward. Our children grow. They become cool little people who excite us with the little things like loose teeth, reading their first book, first time they stand, and then first time they tell you that they love you without you saying it first. And even though it made me a little sad, how can you stay sad with this face...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Single Mom-ing It for Three Months? What Is The Worst That Could Happen?
So a possible opportunity for my husband to work out of town and possibly bring in a little more money than usual came up in conversation tonight. "It's a great opportunity, blah blah blah, it would be in Arizona, blah blah blah, I would be gone for three months, blah.." Wait! What? Three months? Now while this whole thing is totally up in the air, and his company has not, as far as I know, secured the contract, he was being dead serious.
As shocking as this announcement had been, I was no where prepared for my response: "Sure I can handle it." I don't even think I believed I was saying it. Three weeks, full time job, volunteer job at the church, three kids with various appointments & activities, not to mention that the first quarter of the year is the busiest for me at work.
But the more I think about it, I can handle it. I have a few great friends who are always willing to help out, a mom that lives close, and a great church family. Any strain will be well worth the money, as we work towards being a debt free family (work towards = walking down a long hard road).
So I will do it, I will hold down the home front. But the day he gets back...I'm taking a spa day!
As shocking as this announcement had been, I was no where prepared for my response: "Sure I can handle it." I don't even think I believed I was saying it. Three weeks, full time job, volunteer job at the church, three kids with various appointments & activities, not to mention that the first quarter of the year is the busiest for me at work.
But the more I think about it, I can handle it. I have a few great friends who are always willing to help out, a mom that lives close, and a great church family. Any strain will be well worth the money, as we work towards being a debt free family (work towards = walking down a long hard road).
So I will do it, I will hold down the home front. But the day he gets back...I'm taking a spa day!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Before Thanksgiving or After Thanksgiving...That Is the Question
Okay, the ultimate question - do you start decorating for Christmas, listening to Christmas music, and/or watching Christmas movies BEFORE or AFTER Thanksgiving?
Personally, I'm an after Thanksgiving person. Give Thanksgivings it's due. Take a minute to thank God for all he has given us before we start the season of "I wants" (look for a future blog on this subject). We are a fairly prompt family, usually the Friday after (Black Friday to my friends who shop....oh wait I see a plug coming...here it is....www.blackfridaybabes.com) Thanksgiving to decorate and start the merriment.
But in my discussions on this topic with other moms, I heard some pretty good reasons to start early:
1. You are going out of town for Christmas. - If you are leaving town for Christmas, then you won't get the full time allotted to enjoy your Christmas decor. So putting it up a little early allows you time to get the full effect.
2. Your family comes from out of town and celebrates Thanksgiving & Christmas at the same time. - For family living some distance away this if very cost effective, and you just can't have Christmas without a tree and stockings right?
3. You are so in love with the holiday you can't take it and you would skip Halloween if you could. - Well there is no reason for this but everyone has their right to the personal preference.
And honestly, that is what it comes down to, personal preference. Because in my recently found wisdom, each family has their own measure on normal, and what works for me and mine, may be a complete deal breaker for you and yours, and honestly who am I to say?
But seriously...give Thanksgiving it's due.
Personally, I'm an after Thanksgiving person. Give Thanksgivings it's due. Take a minute to thank God for all he has given us before we start the season of "I wants" (look for a future blog on this subject). We are a fairly prompt family, usually the Friday after (Black Friday to my friends who shop....oh wait I see a plug coming...here it is....www.blackfridaybabes.com) Thanksgiving to decorate and start the merriment.
But in my discussions on this topic with other moms, I heard some pretty good reasons to start early:
1. You are going out of town for Christmas. - If you are leaving town for Christmas, then you won't get the full time allotted to enjoy your Christmas decor. So putting it up a little early allows you time to get the full effect.
2. Your family comes from out of town and celebrates Thanksgiving & Christmas at the same time. - For family living some distance away this if very cost effective, and you just can't have Christmas without a tree and stockings right?
3. You are so in love with the holiday you can't take it and you would skip Halloween if you could. - Well there is no reason for this but everyone has their right to the personal preference.
And honestly, that is what it comes down to, personal preference. Because in my recently found wisdom, each family has their own measure on normal, and what works for me and mine, may be a complete deal breaker for you and yours, and honestly who am I to say?
But seriously...give Thanksgiving it's due.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Holiday Shopping...How to Do It Right
Ah, 'tis the season....for shopping. For some people, like me, it's a frantic search for the right gift at the last moment, or whenever I can get a babysitter to watch the troops. For some people, like my friend Leann Winton and her family, it is an art, and their biggest show is Black Friday.
They plan. They prepare. They drink coffee. And best yet, they have uniforms.
They plan. They prepare. They drink coffee. And best yet, they have uniforms.
And now they are making their uniform available to the public. They have several different cuts of this shirt all sporting this very chic design. They have this cut for the skinny minis out there, and regular tee shirts for us normal people. They have bags to carry all your 1/2 priced, marked down gifts in. They have iPad/Kindle sleeves so you can carry your game plan and ads with you all day. And tons of other products.
Any good competitive sports team, needs a great stylish uniform. And I have never seen anything more competitive than hundreds of women searching for the same 1/2 priced blender.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The Beauty of Silence
No brainer - all mom's want silence and we want it now!
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
The Beauty of Silence
No brainer - all mom's want silence and we want it now!
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Sickness for Everyone!
Until this year, sickness has not been an issue in my family. But now, it has hit, and hit hard. As a working mom, this is a HUGE balancing act. And with my husband working crazy hours so frequently, a little stressful.
How do you know when to stay home from work? How do you know when to keep your kids home? How about both? These are the problems I am currently trying to work out.
My heart says, kids are sick, stay home. Cuddle them. Make them comfy pallets on the couch and give them meds and Pedialyte. Let them watch their favorite movie. My mind says, you have a job with a lot of responsibility, and when you aren't at work you put someone else out. So where is the balance? (By the way, there is that horrible word again!)
I'm thinking follow your gut. In my mind, your gut is where your heart and mind meet and make the real decisions. Recently, I didn't follow my gut, and I'm regretting it:
So my precious little 9 month old baby gets a hacking cough, that doesn't go away. I take her to the doctor. Just a bad cold. I feel in my gut I should keep her home, but I go to work anyway - I have things to do. A couple days later my babysitter and her daughter come down with it. I have to go to work, so I take the girls anyway. Now almost every member of my family has it. If I had followed my gut and stayed home with my baby girl, then I could have spared a lot of people the sickness.
So tonight, we are laying around in sweats, with blankets and pillows on the couch, watching our favorite movies. Tomorrow? Well, we will see what the gut says...
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Nap Time: A Mother's Last Stronghold
I love my children. They are amazing. They are also intense. By 1pm, I am ready for a nap...for all of us. The activities a mom can do during nap time is endless. I could also take a nap. I could blog. I could have the TV ALL TO MYSELF. I could catch up on house work. Make my grocery list. And probably, if I really put my mind to it, balance the federal budget and end world hunger. The possibilities are endless.
So when my oldest turned 3 and a half and decided that nap time was no longer going to be part of her routine, a little part of me died inside. But then I had the perfect solution! "Rest Time". Rest time requires my daughter to stay in her room and play quietly. There is a TV in her room (I know, I know bad mommy, but we only have one living area and Dora gets old fast. She has to share it with her sister.) so she is free to watch whatever Disney happiness she chooses. Now at 5, almost 6, rest time still applies. I usually check on her and give her a snack and a drink, but she is happy as can be and so am I. The trick is make it sound more fun than staying in your room for an hour and a half while mommy recovers from the morning.
My middle daughter is three now, and I'm sure, will attempt to give up her nap soon. I guess I better buy some good toys for Christmas.
So when my oldest turned 3 and a half and decided that nap time was no longer going to be part of her routine, a little part of me died inside. But then I had the perfect solution! "Rest Time". Rest time requires my daughter to stay in her room and play quietly. There is a TV in her room (I know, I know bad mommy, but we only have one living area and Dora gets old fast. She has to share it with her sister.) so she is free to watch whatever Disney happiness she chooses. Now at 5, almost 6, rest time still applies. I usually check on her and give her a snack and a drink, but she is happy as can be and so am I. The trick is make it sound more fun than staying in your room for an hour and a half while mommy recovers from the morning.
My middle daughter is three now, and I'm sure, will attempt to give up her nap soon. I guess I better buy some good toys for Christmas.
Friday, November 4, 2011
"Thanks"giving
So a friend of mine started a couple years ago doing a daily status message each day of November about something she was thankful for in her life. (Here is your shout out Electa!) I don't know if she was the first one to do it, but last year I joined in too. This year I have noticed several people doing it.
The blessing in this has not been recognizing what I have to be thankful for, but how much I have to be thankful for in my life. It's easy when you are knee deep in diapers, with dishes stacked to the ceiling, and your home has reached a decibel level that requires industrial strength ear plugs, to forget the amazing feeling of baby cuddles, toddler kisses, and kindergarten hugs. It's simple to forget how amazing the organization you work for is, when you have been cussed out for the third time in a day and you are rushing to meet your deadlines. It is difficult to remember how amazing your husband is, if most of the time you see him you both are so tired you fall asleep.
Francesca Batistelli sings in her song "This Is the Stuff", that "in the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." It is just so easy to get bogged down in our day to day lives, to forget all the things we have to be thankful for. I encourage you when you are in your "little mess", to think about all the ways you are blessed.
The blessing in this has not been recognizing what I have to be thankful for, but how much I have to be thankful for in my life. It's easy when you are knee deep in diapers, with dishes stacked to the ceiling, and your home has reached a decibel level that requires industrial strength ear plugs, to forget the amazing feeling of baby cuddles, toddler kisses, and kindergarten hugs. It's simple to forget how amazing the organization you work for is, when you have been cussed out for the third time in a day and you are rushing to meet your deadlines. It is difficult to remember how amazing your husband is, if most of the time you see him you both are so tired you fall asleep.
Francesca Batistelli sings in her song "This Is the Stuff", that "in the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." It is just so easy to get bogged down in our day to day lives, to forget all the things we have to be thankful for. I encourage you when you are in your "little mess", to think about all the ways you are blessed.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Time for Some Real Change!
Today I am going to write about my job.
I work in special needs trust, but I work for an organization that does so much more than that. (check it out www.arcind.org) The Arc of Indiana advocates for people with disabilities and even more important (in my, oh so humble opinion) facilitate ways for people with disabilities to advocate for themselves. On top of that, The Arc is trying to help the state find ways to improve services and supports for people living with disabilities.
I go to work everyday and work for a cause that I believe in with every fiber of my being. How many people can say that honestly? I don't have a child with a disability. I got involved because I worked with a couple ladies who needed some assistance in their home when I was in college. These women inspired me. They made their lives meaningful and happy, despite any hurdles they came across, so what excuses could I possibly have.
Today was our annual conference. One of those ladies was in attendance. She was telling me how she no longer just goes to work, but she is an artist and making money off the art she creates. All because she didn't let someone tell her she couldn't have a dream.
But I will tell you what lights a fire in me...people who think they can take advantage. People who feel like they have to find a "solution" for "these people." People who have no respect for these folks as fellow citizens. The state decision makers need to step up. They need to look at the current situation in our state. They need to understand there is a difference in being alive and being able to really live.
Over the next couple years, big decisions are going to have to be made in the state of Indiana. Think about that anytime you visit the polls!
I work in special needs trust, but I work for an organization that does so much more than that. (check it out www.arcind.org) The Arc of Indiana advocates for people with disabilities and even more important (in my, oh so humble opinion) facilitate ways for people with disabilities to advocate for themselves. On top of that, The Arc is trying to help the state find ways to improve services and supports for people living with disabilities.
I go to work everyday and work for a cause that I believe in with every fiber of my being. How many people can say that honestly? I don't have a child with a disability. I got involved because I worked with a couple ladies who needed some assistance in their home when I was in college. These women inspired me. They made their lives meaningful and happy, despite any hurdles they came across, so what excuses could I possibly have.
Today was our annual conference. One of those ladies was in attendance. She was telling me how she no longer just goes to work, but she is an artist and making money off the art she creates. All because she didn't let someone tell her she couldn't have a dream.
But I will tell you what lights a fire in me...people who think they can take advantage. People who feel like they have to find a "solution" for "these people." People who have no respect for these folks as fellow citizens. The state decision makers need to step up. They need to look at the current situation in our state. They need to understand there is a difference in being alive and being able to really live.
Over the next couple years, big decisions are going to have to be made in the state of Indiana. Think about that anytime you visit the polls!
Monday, October 31, 2011
I Have Had It!
I'm tired of guilt.
It comes from everywhere: other moms (if you are a working mom, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about), work, church (and not sinners guilt - that's something totally different), and anyone else in your life who thinks they know better than you.
Is it possible that in some situations a person knows better than you? Yes, of course. To pretend we all know everything about everything is crazy. In my life, everyone thinks they know how I should be spending my time.
Stay at home mom friends (not all, but some) think I should be figuring out how to take my kid to every activity in the tri-county area. Every festival, every free meal giveaway, every free holiday activity must be attended. Guess what? It's not going to happen in my family. And honestly my kids don't want to go to every single thing. They go to school and day care, and like their mom, they like being home just being together. We go to somethings, but we don't have to go to everything.
My job is very flexible - they accommodate the fact that I have kids for the most part, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE working there. But anytime one of them is sick and I need to stay home (or I am sick for that matter) I feel like I have just ruined everyone in my department's day. So now when they are sick I have started freaking out or second guessing myself - no more. If my babies need me, they need me.
I love the church we attend. It is amazing and filled with amazing people. I hold a volunteer position there and I love it. However - sometimes I oversleep. Sometimes we are sick. Sometimes (not for Sundays or midweek) I just need to spend time with my family because I do work. A woman is to care for her household as part of her ministry on this earth. Prov. 31 talks about how valuable a good wife is to a man. I don't like being made to feel guilty when that doesn't fit into the schedule of the church. And from now on I won't. I am there every moment I can be, and I have to do what I feel God is leading me to do.
Once you get married, there are two families to appease. If one of you (or both) happens to come from a home of divorced parents, well, that just makes it all the worse. Everyone wants to do everything and everything thinks they are the most important. And while I love my family (both sides) and my in-laws, I can't make everyone happy. And I'm done worrying about it. First come, first serve, and sometimes I have to say no. Sometimes it is just nice to be my husband, myself, and our ladies.
Now while all of these things bother me - I love each part they play in my life. I just have to remember that my life is the sum of the parts. No part can dominate another, and each must take their turn.
Hey wait a minute...sounds like I have to be the one to stop this from being a problem..darn it, I hate when that happens!
It comes from everywhere: other moms (if you are a working mom, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about), work, church (and not sinners guilt - that's something totally different), and anyone else in your life who thinks they know better than you.
Is it possible that in some situations a person knows better than you? Yes, of course. To pretend we all know everything about everything is crazy. In my life, everyone thinks they know how I should be spending my time.
Stay at home mom friends (not all, but some) think I should be figuring out how to take my kid to every activity in the tri-county area. Every festival, every free meal giveaway, every free holiday activity must be attended. Guess what? It's not going to happen in my family. And honestly my kids don't want to go to every single thing. They go to school and day care, and like their mom, they like being home just being together. We go to somethings, but we don't have to go to everything.
My job is very flexible - they accommodate the fact that I have kids for the most part, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE working there. But anytime one of them is sick and I need to stay home (or I am sick for that matter) I feel like I have just ruined everyone in my department's day. So now when they are sick I have started freaking out or second guessing myself - no more. If my babies need me, they need me.
I love the church we attend. It is amazing and filled with amazing people. I hold a volunteer position there and I love it. However - sometimes I oversleep. Sometimes we are sick. Sometimes (not for Sundays or midweek) I just need to spend time with my family because I do work. A woman is to care for her household as part of her ministry on this earth. Prov. 31 talks about how valuable a good wife is to a man. I don't like being made to feel guilty when that doesn't fit into the schedule of the church. And from now on I won't. I am there every moment I can be, and I have to do what I feel God is leading me to do.
Once you get married, there are two families to appease. If one of you (or both) happens to come from a home of divorced parents, well, that just makes it all the worse. Everyone wants to do everything and everything thinks they are the most important. And while I love my family (both sides) and my in-laws, I can't make everyone happy. And I'm done worrying about it. First come, first serve, and sometimes I have to say no. Sometimes it is just nice to be my husband, myself, and our ladies.
Now while all of these things bother me - I love each part they play in my life. I just have to remember that my life is the sum of the parts. No part can dominate another, and each must take their turn.
Hey wait a minute...sounds like I have to be the one to stop this from being a problem..darn it, I hate when that happens!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sick and No Treats
Sick kids - it's the worst.
I'm going to start this with an important statement - I work in special needs trust administration, and I hear stories all day of parents who spend hours/days/weeks in hospital, doctors offices, and therapies just so their kids can live a "normal" life. To those parents, you have my utmost respect, because here I am whining about what I hope will turn out to be a 24 hour flu bug.
Now for the whining: two of my three children are sick, including one that puked, told me she felt better then immediately ran to the bathroom again. I am fortunate that the baby, is as of now healthy. Babies cannot be put on the couch with a Disney movie, favorite blanket, and a pillow. They crawl around, cry, and puke where ever they want.
Now, it is not the fact that tomorrow is the end of the month, which means that working with financial accounts, I have things I need to do at work. It is not the fact that I will have a ton of laundry and sanitizing to do. What is bumming me out is, tomorrow is Halloween. Who wants to tell their kids that it is a poor show to go trick or treating if you might puke on someone's shoes? When I explained to my oldest tonight that no school tomorrow meant no trick or treating - her already red eyes immediately teared up. Stab to the heart.
This is where parenting is tough. I'm sure my daughter would say she felt fine even if she was next to death in order to go trick or treating, in order to get candy, that she will want to eat, that she will most likely get sick from. And I will want to say yes - I mean, trick or treating only happens once a year and she has an amazing costume. But because I love her, and because being healthy is more important, I will let her lay in my bed with me and watch Halloween movies instead.
But in the meantime the world is missing out on these two adorable costumes:
Smurfette
Dora the Explorer
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Balance: Urban Myth or Attainable Goal?
So I haven't written a "real" post in a couple days because I knew what I wanted to write about but couldn't pick my angle. See, I wanted to write about the parenting holy grail...balance.
Ask any mother, new, seasoned, young, old...they will tell you the secret to a happy home is balance. Then they will ask you to tell them how you do it when you figure it out. For me it's balancing my time between being a mom, a wife, a professional, working (for God) through my church, and not forgetting that I am a person underneath all of that as well. Everyone always needs something, and their need is always most important.
I don't have the answer. I'm not going to pretend I do...I mean, the title of the blog has the phrases "over scheduled" and "over worked" in them, so obviously I'm not expert. But I do have some thoughts...
1. Stop pretending you can give each "hat" you wear equal time. Can't happen. Somethings are simply more important than others, and something are more demanding. Also some live at your house and there is no where to hide.
2. Follow your gut. Although all logic maybe saying one thing is important, your heart usually knows the right answer. For instance: Logic says that you really need to go to an event at your church, but your heart knows your kids are needing some of your time. Or maybe logic says you need some time at home, but your heart tells you that the church outreach needs your attention. Follow your heart, and don't let anyone guilt you either way.
3. Buy a calendar. Keeping on top of things that demand your time will keep things from becoming overwhelming and allow you to divide your time as evenly as possible.
4. Don't let one area rule the others. No matter how many excuses you can think of.
5. Don't forget about yourself. As a mom, you want everything to be great for everyone. But you are part of "everyone". Take care of yourself. Create situations to be alone. My drug of choice is wondering the aisles of Target alone, which I last did...well when was there snow on the ground last?
6. Learn to say no. I would provide a real life example, but sadly I don't have any..I'm still working on this one.
These five things won't lead you to instance success. Or instant happiness. And no matter how good of an idea they be, putting things like in practice is difficult at best.
Balance is what every family needs...and when you find out how...well you know what to do.
Ask any mother, new, seasoned, young, old...they will tell you the secret to a happy home is balance. Then they will ask you to tell them how you do it when you figure it out. For me it's balancing my time between being a mom, a wife, a professional, working (for God) through my church, and not forgetting that I am a person underneath all of that as well. Everyone always needs something, and their need is always most important.
I don't have the answer. I'm not going to pretend I do...I mean, the title of the blog has the phrases "over scheduled" and "over worked" in them, so obviously I'm not expert. But I do have some thoughts...
1. Stop pretending you can give each "hat" you wear equal time. Can't happen. Somethings are simply more important than others, and something are more demanding. Also some live at your house and there is no where to hide.
2. Follow your gut. Although all logic maybe saying one thing is important, your heart usually knows the right answer. For instance: Logic says that you really need to go to an event at your church, but your heart knows your kids are needing some of your time. Or maybe logic says you need some time at home, but your heart tells you that the church outreach needs your attention. Follow your heart, and don't let anyone guilt you either way.
3. Buy a calendar. Keeping on top of things that demand your time will keep things from becoming overwhelming and allow you to divide your time as evenly as possible.
4. Don't let one area rule the others. No matter how many excuses you can think of.
5. Don't forget about yourself. As a mom, you want everything to be great for everyone. But you are part of "everyone". Take care of yourself. Create situations to be alone. My drug of choice is wondering the aisles of Target alone, which I last did...well when was there snow on the ground last?
6. Learn to say no. I would provide a real life example, but sadly I don't have any..I'm still working on this one.
These five things won't lead you to instance success. Or instant happiness. And no matter how good of an idea they be, putting things like in practice is difficult at best.
Balance is what every family needs...and when you find out how...well you know what to do.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
And Sometimes It Just All Comes Together
I am your average camera happy mother. No seriously - currently my "October 2011" album on Facebook has over 200 pictures. I love taking pictures of my family and friends. I keep my camera on the breakfast bar, always close for that candid shot I just have to have. But, like most moms, I am always in search of the great family photo. Sure sure, I could pay someone to take pictures of us in matching clothes like a Gap ad, and while those pictures also look great, that is not my family. We a happy chaotic mess, and I love the pictures that turn out great, but mildly look like we all fell together and leaned in quickly for the snapshot. Today, it happened for us. We were walking through the zoo with my mother-in-law and we sat down for a break and my husband and I each grabbed a kid, the oldest jumped in, smile, snap, happy perfection. Who cares if one of us was dressed like they live in a mushroom in a magical forest, one like an explorer whose best friend is a monkey, and a princess who should have the world's longest ponytail, but is in fact mostly bald :)
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Taking a Stand...By Sitting Down
Since my husband started his new job a couple months ago, life has been go go go, and as you can tell by my blog posts, it has been quite the adjustment. Everyone said "You need to relax more." I kept thinking, "Seriously how do you expect me to do that?!?!"
Here is how:
Right now in my kitchen there is ketchup drying on little divided plates. The laundry room is completely quiet. There are baby toys strategically laying over every square inch of the living room. My kids went to bed at 8 with a small stack of books each. And me? I'm laying on the couch in my favorite sweats, eating food that is sure to go straight to my hips, watching a "Big Bang Theory" marathon, and blogging.
Now the next paragraph are going to be my feelings. To the people to have been telling me this for over a month...yea yea yea, you told me so.
I love my kids. They are amazing. I would do anything for them. I want them to have an amazing life. I want them to be well rounded and awesome. However, I can't do anything for them stretched so thin. So if for one night (and only one, I can't allow it for two) all the dinner dishes sit in the sink, so be it. My kids deserve a mommy that is well rest and not cranky. So even if I can't convince myself to rest for me, I can do it for them.
So tonight, I'm standing up against the voice in my head that says "Your bathroom needs a good scrubbing." I put my self in time out, on my comfy overstuffed couch.
Here is how:
Right now in my kitchen there is ketchup drying on little divided plates. The laundry room is completely quiet. There are baby toys strategically laying over every square inch of the living room. My kids went to bed at 8 with a small stack of books each. And me? I'm laying on the couch in my favorite sweats, eating food that is sure to go straight to my hips, watching a "Big Bang Theory" marathon, and blogging.
Now the next paragraph are going to be my feelings. To the people to have been telling me this for over a month...yea yea yea, you told me so.
I love my kids. They are amazing. I would do anything for them. I want them to have an amazing life. I want them to be well rounded and awesome. However, I can't do anything for them stretched so thin. So if for one night (and only one, I can't allow it for two) all the dinner dishes sit in the sink, so be it. My kids deserve a mommy that is well rest and not cranky. So even if I can't convince myself to rest for me, I can do it for them.
So tonight, I'm standing up against the voice in my head that says "Your bathroom needs a good scrubbing." I put my self in time out, on my comfy overstuffed couch.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Even the Best Laid Plan
Hello, my name is Brandi, and I am a blogging failure. Well, at least I have been for a couple weeks. It just kept slipping lower and lower on my priority based to-do list. You know, beneath bathing & feeding children (always with the eating!), picking up toys, and lately, around our house, wiping snotty noses. I know my fellow moms know this list all too well.
But now that I'm blogging...I have two major (to me at least) points of discussion. Number 1 - you know what can ruin a day? When I have planned everything. I have accounted for every possible scenerio. I have extra diapers, extra clothes, empty water bottles filled with juice to keep costs down, I have double the Kleenex for the snotty nose situation. But when you get to where you are going everything goes wrong! Snotty nose kid is fussy, the baby hates anything that confines her, and the oldest has suddenly become deaf and doesn't listen to a thing you say. Then to top things off, the hubby is annoyed by that entire situation. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? Everyone is happy in the car. Everyone is happy on the way to the entrance. You pay and BAM! No one is happy, and now I'm frustrated. So here are my new found solutions:
1. Drive just your family so you don't feel guilty for leaving early. - It's not that you don't like carpooling. Who doesn't? It's just sometimes enough is enough for your family and the other parties you are with shouldn't be punished because your family lost their mind.
2. Know when enough is enough. - This one is rough for me. I want to keep trying to make it work. I want it to be perfect. I want their to be a million perfect photo ops. Sadly this is the real world. Three kids? You are lucky with one photo op and one of them will be crying. Sometimes you have to say...we will be happier at home in jammies and that is where we are going.
3. Don't go if you know your kids are a mess. - Taking snotty nose is not a good plan. They want to be laying on the couch with all 1 million episodes of Dora on Netflix and a sippy cup of chocolate milk. Either reschedule, or one parent stays behind. Don't get excited, you will probably have to draw straws.
So...number2 - Since when did it become "ok" to take a picture of someone else's kid with your phone and walk away like it is completely normal? Now do people think I spend hours reviewing privacy policies and settings on Facebook, because I'm cool with other people having pictures of my kid? And why do you think you don't have to ask? Honestly, you can take a picture of my kid if you enjoy seeing your iPhone4s smashed on the pavement in front of you. Yes, I know they are adorable, I made them. Enjoy them while they are you in your eyesight then creepily stare at the cute kids behind us. Am I alone? Is this abnormal? I have to ask, because as you may have guessed, this day has turned me loopy.
But now that I'm blogging...I have two major (to me at least) points of discussion. Number 1 - you know what can ruin a day? When I have planned everything. I have accounted for every possible scenerio. I have extra diapers, extra clothes, empty water bottles filled with juice to keep costs down, I have double the Kleenex for the snotty nose situation. But when you get to where you are going everything goes wrong! Snotty nose kid is fussy, the baby hates anything that confines her, and the oldest has suddenly become deaf and doesn't listen to a thing you say. Then to top things off, the hubby is annoyed by that entire situation. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? Everyone is happy in the car. Everyone is happy on the way to the entrance. You pay and BAM! No one is happy, and now I'm frustrated. So here are my new found solutions:
1. Drive just your family so you don't feel guilty for leaving early. - It's not that you don't like carpooling. Who doesn't? It's just sometimes enough is enough for your family and the other parties you are with shouldn't be punished because your family lost their mind.
2. Know when enough is enough. - This one is rough for me. I want to keep trying to make it work. I want it to be perfect. I want their to be a million perfect photo ops. Sadly this is the real world. Three kids? You are lucky with one photo op and one of them will be crying. Sometimes you have to say...we will be happier at home in jammies and that is where we are going.
3. Don't go if you know your kids are a mess. - Taking snotty nose is not a good plan. They want to be laying on the couch with all 1 million episodes of Dora on Netflix and a sippy cup of chocolate milk. Either reschedule, or one parent stays behind. Don't get excited, you will probably have to draw straws.
So...number2 - Since when did it become "ok" to take a picture of someone else's kid with your phone and walk away like it is completely normal? Now do people think I spend hours reviewing privacy policies and settings on Facebook, because I'm cool with other people having pictures of my kid? And why do you think you don't have to ask? Honestly, you can take a picture of my kid if you enjoy seeing your iPhone4s smashed on the pavement in front of you. Yes, I know they are adorable, I made them. Enjoy them while they are you in your eyesight then creepily stare at the cute kids behind us. Am I alone? Is this abnormal? I have to ask, because as you may have guessed, this day has turned me loopy.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Ever had a slump turn into a rut? Starts out having a bad day, then it quickly turns into a bad week or weeks. This happens to me from time to time. It starts with something small, and snowballs out of control. This time it was a car accident. I have some back injuries from it and it is causing me to not be able to go through my daily routine. This for me is just...beyond hard. I am the type of person who need routines to function. I make list. I make plans. I keep multiple calendars to get it all done. When I can't keep to those routines I get upset. I feel like a failure. I get the "blues". (I don't like to throw around the word depressed. I have been depressed and feeling a little sad is in no way the same thing.) And how many people when they are feeling down and out feel like doing anything? So the routine gets left behind, and with three kids..well there is a mess to deal with and quite frankly now it is a problem that is out of control.
So once you are ready to move forward how do you overcome the mountain of things you have let go? How do you get back up and move forward? When I was younger and it was just me, it was easier. Get up, clean up the house I shared with a roommate, go to work. Now as a "grown-up" with a full-time job, a husband, and three beautiful little girls, it is harder. Usually my husband realizes enough is enough, and says "Come on babe, we're better than this. I will help." He helps as we clean the house, take care of the kids, do laundry, and usually at this point I need a really hot shower. When it's all done, I can sit down with my calendar and rethink things, and be ready to go the next day.
Sometimes I wonder, what would I do if he weren't here to help me pick up the pieces? What if I had to do it all alone? There was a period in Josh & I's marriage where we weren't sure we could stay together forever...and then I tried to picture my life without him. It was a mess! He loves me so much and takes care of me like no one else. I hope he feels the same way about me.
So this blog went a totally different direction than I had planned, but that last little bit, the part about how amazing my husband is...might help me get up off the couch.
So once you are ready to move forward how do you overcome the mountain of things you have let go? How do you get back up and move forward? When I was younger and it was just me, it was easier. Get up, clean up the house I shared with a roommate, go to work. Now as a "grown-up" with a full-time job, a husband, and three beautiful little girls, it is harder. Usually my husband realizes enough is enough, and says "Come on babe, we're better than this. I will help." He helps as we clean the house, take care of the kids, do laundry, and usually at this point I need a really hot shower. When it's all done, I can sit down with my calendar and rethink things, and be ready to go the next day.
Sometimes I wonder, what would I do if he weren't here to help me pick up the pieces? What if I had to do it all alone? There was a period in Josh & I's marriage where we weren't sure we could stay together forever...and then I tried to picture my life without him. It was a mess! He loves me so much and takes care of me like no one else. I hope he feels the same way about me.
So this blog went a totally different direction than I had planned, but that last little bit, the part about how amazing my husband is...might help me get up off the couch.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
We Need A Cure
There is an affliction effecting people all over the world. It significantly effects women more than men. It is tearing apart homes. We need a cure immediately.
I'm talking about crankiness. Someone needs to organize a walk, we need a colored ribbon (it doesn't matter what you color you choose, because whatever you choose it will just upset the patients), and we need some celebrities to help us out. My money is on Bill O'Reilly. He can identify since we he obviously suffers from this affliction. Furthermore, this affliction is very serious! It leads to other, more serious problems, such as anger and road rage.
I guess this cause is so close to my heart because today, I am suffering from it. Quite frankly, I have a chronic case. And the worst part is I didn't know that exposure to children can cause increased flare ups. I am trying desperately to keep it from progressing to anger but not sure how I'm doing.
I am a creature of habit. I need schedules. I need plans. I manage my life with a giant calendar and to do list. I follow a spreadsheet with our budget. None of that is happening right now. Even if I had every list done, I can't follow them. My back is out, and quite frankly it is disabling in many ways. It's not just the pain, which in itself is horrible, but the medication that zaps me out. So now, I'm sitting here, cranky. Knowing what I need to do, but not really able to do it.
What is happening now is crankiness appears to be contagious. Two of three children have caught it. My husband has been out all day, but he has a low immune system and is sure to pick it up. The only current solution is wait until bedtime, go to sleep, and hope it goes away. Must be a virus.
I'm talking about crankiness. Someone needs to organize a walk, we need a colored ribbon (it doesn't matter what you color you choose, because whatever you choose it will just upset the patients), and we need some celebrities to help us out. My money is on Bill O'Reilly. He can identify since we he obviously suffers from this affliction. Furthermore, this affliction is very serious! It leads to other, more serious problems, such as anger and road rage.
I guess this cause is so close to my heart because today, I am suffering from it. Quite frankly, I have a chronic case. And the worst part is I didn't know that exposure to children can cause increased flare ups. I am trying desperately to keep it from progressing to anger but not sure how I'm doing.
I am a creature of habit. I need schedules. I need plans. I manage my life with a giant calendar and to do list. I follow a spreadsheet with our budget. None of that is happening right now. Even if I had every list done, I can't follow them. My back is out, and quite frankly it is disabling in many ways. It's not just the pain, which in itself is horrible, but the medication that zaps me out. So now, I'm sitting here, cranky. Knowing what I need to do, but not really able to do it.
What is happening now is crankiness appears to be contagious. Two of three children have caught it. My husband has been out all day, but he has a low immune system and is sure to pick it up. The only current solution is wait until bedtime, go to sleep, and hope it goes away. Must be a virus.
Monday, September 19, 2011
..and then the bottom fell out.
So as much as I would love to pretend I always have it together, let's be honest, no one ALWAYS has it together.
Here is the current picture:
Here is the current picture:
- I was in a car accident a couple weeks ago. I had some muscle pain but I pushed forward. Well now I am in some SERIOUS pain.
- My youngest (7months) has had a hacking cough for two weeks and is on meds. She also has an earache.
- My middle child (3 years) threw up OUT OF NO WHERE all over the living room. To make this situation even better we were on the way out the door to take my oldest (5 years) to school.
- Because of #1 my house is a disaster. Yesterday's dinner of pot roast mess is still all over the dining room and kitchen. Piles of clean (waiting to be folded) and dirty laundry are everywhere. The level of clutter is similar to what New Orleans looked like after Katrina.
So, in addition, my wonderful babysitter who I love is also having a rough day. Her 4 year old is sick (probably because of my youngest). So I stayed home today with my sickly children, and my disgusting house. I'm going to be very transparent here, I'm overwhelmed. Normally I would NEVER admit this, and you know why? Because woman are not suppose to get overwhelmed. We are suppose to perfectly balanced in every part of our lives. We are suppose to have our hair done, our make up perfect, and be stylish, all while having a "rewarding career" which includes climbing the corporate ladder; have a clean, warm, and well decorated home; have children that you spend mounds of time with, that are well rounded, well behaved, and always polite; and be the ideal member of the PTO and my church. You know what....it isn't possible EVERY SINGLE DAY. And it isn't possible ALONE. Sometimes you have to let something go.
Now I don't follow my own advice. I'm so afraid of dropping the ball, of people thinking I can't handle things (including my husband - although I know he loves me and supports me in whatever - even if that support ends at helping clean the kitchen) that I go without meals, I go without sleep, and always push forward to make everything look perfect and effortless. But here is the problem with that...you can do it...for awhile. And then, the bottom falls out. And you end up sitting in the middle of your disgusting house, with you sickly children, watching the ninth episode of "Jake & The Pirates" on Disney Junior, using a blog as your therapy because you have no time for real therapy.
Today, at some point, I will take enough pain meds to not even feel my toes. I will get up and clean this home before the health department comes. I will get to the grocery store. I will do the laundry. I will spend time with the kids. I will make them a good dinner. I will possibly take a shower. I will take a muscle relaxer for my back and go to bed. Tomorrow it is back to the perfect balance.
Friday, September 16, 2011
It's Friday night. It's 7:43 pm. I'm sitting on my couch feeling like a very hip mom. I have a fall comfy outfit on, a messy ponytail, and my glasses on, writing a blog. Now the question is, how does a mother of three small children get so lucky? Well, quite frankly, this mother hit her limit. My three year old does this thing that drives me crazy. WHINE. CONSTANTLY. And my five year old has a great response..YELL AT HER SISTER. So tonight, after unsuccessfully trying to use the restroom alone in silence, I hit the limit. I calmly stepped from the bathroom, and after taking the three year old to the "potty" ordered them both to bed. Which is where they are now.
So now I am sitting on my couch, watching "Parenthood" on Hulu Plus, blogging. I love my children, but doesn't mean I have to let them torture me. A friend gave me an article this week about allowing our children to make us feel guilty, and I realized it is right! I do not believe that children should be "seen and not heard". I am not even against a "lively" household. What I am against is my children freaking out on each other every five minutes. And I don't want to spend my whole evening yelling at my children. So I feel like sending them to bed early is a just punishment as well as a great way for me to not feel guilty for yelling at them all night. Win/win right?
Being a parent is hard. Everyone knows that. It's no surprise. We lie to ourselves when we have our first baby and tell ourselves, "That is everyone else. We totally have this under control." And we do at first...until they become a toddler and then we realize that we don't have all the answers, parenting is really hard, and we are borderline traumatized. But despite all this we usually go on to have a second child, and some of us really brave folks have even more. But the lesson I have learned is balance. Wait, correction, I have learned what I need is balance. I haven't exactly figured it out 100%. But I'm not talking about overall balance. I'm talking about you need balance in discipline. And a completely different type of balance in extra circulars for your children. And another type of balance in good eating habits.
Overall, I hope the end result is well-balanced children, who understand that I love them, but I will correct them if it is needed. I truly believe that you can be fun mom (notice I said mom not friend) and have children the respect you and know the boundaries. Now....how to figure that all out...
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Evening Rush
Being a mom is stressful. Whether you stay at home or work, each have their moments where you don't think you can take one more thing, or you will explode. Usually this can be curtailed with a cup of coffee, can of Dr. Pepper, whatever your poison might be.
Tonight, however, I'm talking to the working mom, and to complicate my situation, my husband has recently taken a job that takes him out of town during the work week. I get off work at 5pm. On a weekend it takes about 30 minutes to get to my office from my home. During the week, an hour. Plus the two child care pick ups I have to make both on my way and coming home from the office. From the time I step foot out of my office (usually 4:50, as I leave a little early to beat the rush in the parking garage) until I put the kids to bed, I feel like I'm running a race against the clock that I am sure to lose.
This evening, my oldest daughter Hannah's elementary school was doing "Spirit Night" at the local very yummy ice cream place. Wanting to be a mom that participates, I decide to take the girls. I invite my mom for support, and that turns in my sister, brother-in-law and niece coming, so I decide to make some dinner.
I skip lunch so I can leave at 4, thinking in theory if I leave an hour early then I will get home an hour early. WRONG! I only got home about 20 minutes early, because Murphy's law says when you are in a hurry there is a fender bender every 20 feet that everyone must slow down and gawk at. Then I'm rush rush rushing to both take care of my kids and make supper. Then we rush through supper to get to the ice cream place. By the time we get home and I get the kids in bed (It's 9 by the way...their regular bedtime is 8) I look around my house in disarray , sigh, and climb in bed to write this blog.
There must be an easier way. The only thing I can determine is that we need to be able to teleport. And why, of all the stupid things we can do with technology, hasn't this been invented and perfected yet? The market is huge! I'd pay a years salary for the ability to get my office to my house in minutes. And I know you are thinking, "well move closer to your office". Well there is the issue of the school system. The closer to my office you get the worse the schools get. With all the money in the downtown area you would think quality schools, but I truly believe most of the people who work in my building also live in my suburb.
I guess in the meantime, I will stick to leaving 10 minutes early, and keeping the Dr. Pepper flowing.
Tonight, however, I'm talking to the working mom, and to complicate my situation, my husband has recently taken a job that takes him out of town during the work week. I get off work at 5pm. On a weekend it takes about 30 minutes to get to my office from my home. During the week, an hour. Plus the two child care pick ups I have to make both on my way and coming home from the office. From the time I step foot out of my office (usually 4:50, as I leave a little early to beat the rush in the parking garage) until I put the kids to bed, I feel like I'm running a race against the clock that I am sure to lose.
This evening, my oldest daughter Hannah's elementary school was doing "Spirit Night" at the local very yummy ice cream place. Wanting to be a mom that participates, I decide to take the girls. I invite my mom for support, and that turns in my sister, brother-in-law and niece coming, so I decide to make some dinner.
I skip lunch so I can leave at 4, thinking in theory if I leave an hour early then I will get home an hour early. WRONG! I only got home about 20 minutes early, because Murphy's law says when you are in a hurry there is a fender bender every 20 feet that everyone must slow down and gawk at. Then I'm rush rush rushing to both take care of my kids and make supper. Then we rush through supper to get to the ice cream place. By the time we get home and I get the kids in bed (It's 9 by the way...their regular bedtime is 8) I look around my house in disarray , sigh, and climb in bed to write this blog.
There must be an easier way. The only thing I can determine is that we need to be able to teleport. And why, of all the stupid things we can do with technology, hasn't this been invented and perfected yet? The market is huge! I'd pay a years salary for the ability to get my office to my house in minutes. And I know you are thinking, "well move closer to your office". Well there is the issue of the school system. The closer to my office you get the worse the schools get. With all the money in the downtown area you would think quality schools, but I truly believe most of the people who work in my building also live in my suburb.
I guess in the meantime, I will stick to leaving 10 minutes early, and keeping the Dr. Pepper flowing.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Oh Fall
I love my kids. I love my husband. I love doing stuff with them. I want to be "that" family. The family that is always doing something fun, that has a bizillon pictures of their kids making funny faces and doing fun things. For me, fall is the best time for this. We love to go to apple orchards and pumpkin patches. We love to go to fall and Halloween activities at the Indianapolis Children's Museum and Indianapolis Zoo. I love taking pictures of my kids in a pile of leaves. I fill my house full of Spiced Pumpkin and Harvest scents from Yankee Candle. I change our menu to include soups and stews. We love hooded sweat shirts. Just writing this I am smiling thinking of it!
Fall for me is also a season of change. This year, Hannah (my oldest) started Kindergarten. Our first Ice Cream Social (a yearly event where kids meet their teacher before the first day of school), first mommy/daughter school shopping trip, first day of school...complete with a few mommy tears. Watching Hannah grow into her own person, no longer content just wearing what Mommy picks out, or doing her hair how mommy wants, is both awesome and heart wrenching all at the same time. Hannah has her own sense of style, and own way of expressing herself, mostly involving Hello Kitty :)
This year, for some reason, it seems more important to be together as a family. I guess because josh has to be gone so much. But we are going to make this work!
Enjoy your fall, and I will keep you update on mine!
Fall for me is also a season of change. This year, Hannah (my oldest) started Kindergarten. Our first Ice Cream Social (a yearly event where kids meet their teacher before the first day of school), first mommy/daughter school shopping trip, first day of school...complete with a few mommy tears. Watching Hannah grow into her own person, no longer content just wearing what Mommy picks out, or doing her hair how mommy wants, is both awesome and heart wrenching all at the same time. Hannah has her own sense of style, and own way of expressing herself, mostly involving Hello Kitty :)
This year, for some reason, it seems more important to be together as a family. I guess because josh has to be gone so much. But we are going to make this work!
Enjoy your fall, and I will keep you update on mine!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Home Alone + 3
My husband is out of town...again. Now this is par for the course with his job and we are very blessed he has it, I need to say that first. With that out of the way, are you serious?!?! Home alone (except when I'm at work....better known as my only break) with three kids is no one's ideal situation. While I am changing the baby, the toddler is standing in the hallway peeing her pants, because "she couldn't wait and the toilet is to tall" (all said in the world's most irritating whine). While I'm getting dinner, the toddler and kindergarten are quickly and methodically destroying their bedrooms with an efficiency that most CEO's would pay millions for. Finally, I do what rational parents would do....Disney movie anyone? Thank you Pocahontas, for saving me from losing my mind! But eventually bedtime rolls around, and two hours later everyone is asleep and relatively harmless. And after I do the five hours of housework and laundry, I have the whole bed to myself. :)
Saturday, July 2, 2011
What's One More Thing To Do?
So, here is the situation I am in. I have three beautiful little girls. Hannah, age 5; Lilly, age 3; and Grace (Gracie), age 5 months. They are my girls, and they are wonderful. I am married to a great man, and we've been married for 5 years. Yup do the math :) I work full time an hour away from my home. I work for a not-for-profit that provides advocacy for individuals with disabilities, assists those same individuals in advocating for themselves, help families get connected with assistance and services they need, and (in my case) provide special needs trust services. I am a Christian and attend church here close to home, and my family & I are very active.
So basically, every minute of my day is scheduled and organized. Or at least scheduled. I try very hard to keep things organized, but let's be real. You want to mess up a perfect plan, introduce three children to it. They will mangle it to the point you will no longer be able to recognize it.
But we make it happen, 365 days a year. Sometimes things go really smoothly, and sometimes they are a total mess. Many times I laugh, and occasionally I cry. But in the end, it is a wonderful life. God gives me the strength to push forward and be the best mom I can be.
I am still in the process of learning to create a balance. When is something important? When is it ok to let things go? In fear of dropping the ball (which I have done) I often make everything important, but I'm learning to keep my sanity, sometimes I have to say "They are just going to drag those toys out again tomorrow, I might as well get five hours of sleep instead of six."
So this post is pretty boring, but guess I needed a spring board for future posts. I will be sure to keep it up though, it will be #103 on daily list of things to do.
So basically, every minute of my day is scheduled and organized. Or at least scheduled. I try very hard to keep things organized, but let's be real. You want to mess up a perfect plan, introduce three children to it. They will mangle it to the point you will no longer be able to recognize it.
But we make it happen, 365 days a year. Sometimes things go really smoothly, and sometimes they are a total mess. Many times I laugh, and occasionally I cry. But in the end, it is a wonderful life. God gives me the strength to push forward and be the best mom I can be.
I am still in the process of learning to create a balance. When is something important? When is it ok to let things go? In fear of dropping the ball (which I have done) I often make everything important, but I'm learning to keep my sanity, sometimes I have to say "They are just going to drag those toys out again tomorrow, I might as well get five hours of sleep instead of six."
So this post is pretty boring, but guess I needed a spring board for future posts. I will be sure to keep it up though, it will be #103 on daily list of things to do.
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