What Constitutes a Dirty House?

So I am a neat freak. Before I had my third baby, my house was spotless, except for a few toys here and there. My laundry was always tidy. Bathrooms always sparkling. Then I had my little Gracie. Adding the second baby didn't change life the way everyone said. I think part of this is because it is a lot easier to get a babysitter for two kids than three. Regardless, all this being said, adding the third baby was not as smooth. Everything is chaos. What is a neat freak to do? Now regardless of what I do there is laundry to do (I have to say life is a little easier since my amazing babysitter helps with the girls laundry), dishes in the sink, toys and kids messes everywhere. How did one little person change things so much? Oh well, she is here and wonderful, and we will take the changes.

Now my neat freak status comes into constant battle with my overwhelming exhaustion of being a working mother of three little ones. Lately my exhaustion has been winning out. So now I'm trying to find the happy middle ground of excepting a little clutter without it driving me insane. So far I haven't done it. Mostly I sit in my exhaustion and FREAK OUT.

So now I've decided that the kids rooms can't be perfectly clean. I've decided a little dirty laundry isn't a huge deal. I have even decided that my room can be cluttered. No one sees it any way. Having a little clutter (not dirt mind you, clutter) isn't going to kill my chances at Mom of the Year. And it makes those times when I do get the house completely clean, oh so much sweeter.

Because I Didn't Have Enough Going On...

So today was a big deal for me. A new business venture! I don't know if it is a new business actually, but honestly more of a ministry. And I'm not going to go into here, but you can click here to see the Christian Marriage Gone Wild blog.

What I am writing about is adding more stuff to the plate...should I or shouldn't I? I have come up with a new way to figure it out.

1. Pray about it.
God has ways of letting you know whether or not you should do something, and if you are a Christian you should be seeking to follow his will regardless.

2. Pros/Cons
Am I jumping over a bunch of cons to get to one pro? And if I am, is it worth it?

3. Discuss with spouse.
If you are married, you can't add something to the family plate without talking it out. That can lead to all kinds of issues. Make sure you are both on the same page. Be fair and give them time to pray about it too, because that is what a good Christian spouse should want to do.

4. Have a plan. Is this truly possible?
Make a plan, and then look at it again. Is this something you can really do? Do you have the time and resources?

If you go through these steps, you should be able to see pretty quickly if adding something is the right thing to do for your family. And if it is...well...add it to the heap!

The Semi-Single Parent: Part 2 of....

Tonight I was trying to think of the most important thing that has helped me adapt to my family's new lifestyle. I thought of several things. But one thing was coming up as a common point. My friend, who will we call J. 

J and I were not friends in high school even though we went to a small school. She was a year ahead of me, and we didn't travel in the same circles. Somehow, we both ended up in the same town, with Kindergartners who attend the same elementary school. 

J is a single mom. She is also self employed as a hair stylist. She is a fabulous mom. We have become great friends. We do not have the same belief system. We do not have the same style. But it works. J has taught me some very important lessons. 

She has taught me you don't have to pretend your kids are perfect. She has no problem posting about her child's latest antics, both good and bad. She loves him and she celebrates his success but she isn't the type of mom that is jaded to believe that her child walks on water, and we all know those moms. 

She gave me a hair style that I can do in five minutes...FIVE MINUTES! Greatest accomplish ever. Not only that, it's a hair style that I love. She taught me that I can be sexy and cute with short hair that doesn't take much work, just as easily as I can with long hair that takes 45 minutes to do. 

She taught me it's ok to cry. Semi-single (and definitely single) moms have to be strong all the time. You cannot have a break down in the middle of dinner because the day got hard. But when the kids go to bed, it's okay to sit on your bed and have a good cry. Because sometimes it IS overwhelming, and sometimes it IS too much, and sometimes crying is the only to get it out. 

She taught me it is okay to have a good time with out my kids. You don't have to feel bad about wanting to get out of the house with a friend and hang out. As I mentioned yesterday, it is important to have "me time" if not you start to get resentful.

The greatest lesson J taught me is it's ok to ask for help. J and I lean on each other from time to time when we need help. I need a sitter later in the evening than usual. J watches my girls. She has to work on a Saturday she is usually off, and her son comes to play at our house. She helps get my oldest daughter home from school on certain days. 

J has been an example of courage for me. Having a great support system is important. J has told me many times if it weren't for her friends who were there to relieve her when things got too intense, she doesn't know if she could make it. J, along with my sitter & friend, and a few other friends, help me stay sane. Whether it's coming over to take over with the kids for a few, running and getting the milk for me so I don't have to take the kids to the grocery, or just talking with me on the phone at the end of a particular hard day, my support system is what keeps me sane. 

Thanks J - for everything.

The Semi-Single Parent

Last summer my husband got a job after being laid off for a year. I was so thankful! In this recession, especially in the state of Indiana, jobs were (are) hard to come by. We knew going in there would be some traveling, but I told myself I could totally handled it.

Almost a year later, and my husband has been out of town most of the week (meaning four to five days) for the past couple months. Now in case you are new to this blog, especially since I haven't posted in roughly ONE MILLION years, I have three kiddies. My girls (yes all girls) are six, three, and one. I work full time at a fairly stressful job. And I'm fairly active in my church. And now I'm doing it alone most of the time. 

Now I don't want to take anything away from my real single moms. They are amazing. I know when the weekend comes, my husband is coming home, and with him he brings relief. I also don't have the sole financial responsibility, and all the stress that situation brings. With all the being said, semi-single parenting is rough stuff.

There isn't any one thing that makes it rough...in fact it's all the things. It's the moments when you just bathed one of the younger kids, only to find the other one knee deep in pudding. Or when you are putting everyone in bed and you realize that your kindergartner has a project due the next day. And my person favorite, when you realize you are out of milk and you get to take three kids to Walmart just to get a gallon of milk!

In the last couple months I have made some changes, both in my environment and attitude, to help relieve some of the stress.

Number one, I looked at all places that were creating stress. For me, it was that two of my children were going to one child care provider, and the other to another provider (this was because one provider couldn't transport my daughter home from 1/2 day kindergarten), both out of our home. So I was frantically dressing three kids, feeding them breakfast, and trying to get them out the door by 6:50 just so we could be on time. Simple solution, one child care provider, and in our home. I hired a wonderful younger woman from our church, who has went above and beyond including helping with some of the housework (especially the girls' laundry). By the time I took gas into account. The cost is about the same, when you have more children.

Number two, I stopped trying to control everything. I can't make their bedrooms look perfect every night. I can't make a from scratch dinner every night. I can't have a fun imaginative activity planned for every night. MY LIFE IS NOT A TELEVISION SHOW. This is real life! That attitude change made all the difference in the world. 

Number three, I remembered I need downtime too. I need time to scroll through Pinterest. I need time to creep on Facebook. I need time to read. I need time to catch up on my TV shows. And hey, I need time to blog! So sometimes, the laundry can sit in the basket until tomorrow. And the toilet will still need scrubbed tomorrow. I found when I didn't take time for myself that I quickly got resentful. 

There are other things, and maybe I will take time to get to that later. Right now, I'm going to enjoy my favorite downtime activity, that  every mother no matter the situation needs: SLEEP!

Winter Blues

I used to think the concept of the "winter blues" was bull. I stand corrected. I have had a descent week. With the Super Bowl in town, I have been able to participate in a tons of fun stuff! The weather is spring like, even though it is February in Indiana. However, somehow I still feel down. Everyone in my house has a stuffy nose. I have no desire to do anything. I'm sitting on the couch, blogging, watching reruns of "How I Met Your Mother" (still obsessing), and eating pepperoni. I did take a shower, but I didn't do my hair (can anyone say bun?). I didn't even put my contacts in, I'm sporting the studious look with my glasses.

Every Sunday for the past couple weeks, I keep telling myself, "Starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to feel normal." Monday comes, Monday goes, and I still feel the same. I have been blaming it on crazy schedules and not getting enough sleep. I've even felt it at work. I'm usually the most driven ambitious person there is, but lately there is no fire in me.

But I am also not the type to sit around and be conquered! Some at home solutions from www.emedicinehealth.com are:

1. Spend 30 minutes outside everyday.
2. Set a timer to turn a light on in your bedroom early in the morning.
3. Use a dawn simulator for a more natural artificial dawn.
4. Increase indoor lighting.

I will start doing these now! The website also says that if you do these things and do not feel better, you should seek help from the doctor. BUT the most important thing is to acknowledge that you aren't feeling well and try to feel better. And don't feel guilty if you feel down or overwhelmed. Life is crazy and sometimes beats us up a little, and not sound cliche, but the important thing is to keep going!

The Murtaugh List

How I Met Your Mother - The Murtaugh List

I recently rediscovered a television show I really like, "How I Met Your Mother", centered around five New Yorkers (2 married and 3 single) who are in their early 30s. In one episode, they center their antics around the concept of a Murtaugh list. This comes from Detective Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon series, who frequently says "I'm too old for this s$#&!". They were keeping a list of things, that at their age, they had become too old to do.

We all get to points in our life where we have to realize there are things we are too old to do. Either because of how it makes us look or how it makes us feel, we are simply too old to be engaging in certain activities. Some of us (myself included) try to push through and do them anyway because we want to hold on to our youth and relive past experiences or try to revive a life we once had. But we have to keep remembering that life has seasons, and there are new joys/challenges/sadness with each of them.

Somethings for MY Murtaugh list (I do believe this is a highly personalized list.):
1. staying out until last call
2. borrowing money from our parents
3. blaming our parents for "who we are" (at some point we have to grow up and realize we make our own choices)
4. (to be continued)

What would you put on your "Murtaugh List"?

Muffin Pizzas - MMM!

Who doesn't like pizza? Who all likes the exact same kind of pizza? Not as many hands raised on that one. Problem solved. Muffin pizzas! Pizzas made in a muffin pan that each person can top as they like!

I found the picture on Pinterest, but there was no recipe or how to, so I thought I would put one out there...and here we go!

First you will need:

a can of pizza crust - I use the Walmart brand, but I'm sure Pillsbury is just as good

mozzarella cheese

pizza sauce of your choice - I make a semi-homemade, but spaghetti sauce out of a jar would work I'm sure

any toppings of your choice - for this blog, I'm using only pepperoni (picky family)

muffin pan

pizza cutter

You will notice I shop at Aldi. I do that to save money. I suggest it to everyone. 

Okay so for step 1:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and then unroll your pizza dough and use the pizza cutter to cut it in 12 semi equal squares.

Step 2: Put each square in a portion of the muffin pan.

Step 3: Add your sauce. I put a small spoonful in each one. 

Step 3: Add your toppings (minus your pepperoni) and cheese. 

Step 4: Add your pepperoni. I put two slices on each one. Then put in the oven for 13-15 minutes. And you get:

Yum! 

I think I am going to whip some of these up for the Super Bowl. What kind of toppings would your family use?

Pinterest

Howdy strangers! Whew! Finally! The holidays are over, everything is put away, and we are back into the swing of "normal" life. Except for today, when I am laying in bed with a crippling headache yet bored out of my mind. Which how I have found time to write this blog.

So what to write about...how about the newest craze...Pinterest!

Who doesn't love Pinterest? You can go online, view cool stuff that other people have done, and try to figure it out for yourself. Or you can pin it to a board where it will be a remind of your failure to do anything or have time to do anything. Either way it is a great way to spend an afternoon. Seriously, a whole afternoon, you can get lost in it for hours!

Now, while I know there are things on my board I will NEVER have time to do, but I am making an effort to do a few things. My future plan is to add successful items to my blog :) Be on the look out for homemade baby wipes and rainbow cake..two things that I have done successfully so far.

Something Pinterest has revealed to me about myself is that I love doing stuff for my family. Making cleaning supplies at home, cooking from scratch, making paint for the bathtub...all these things while not the easiest way or maybe even necessary bring me joy. It's become my hobby. Pinterest allows me to do these things without spending a lot of time trying to come up with ideas or searching the internet for hours.

So pin-on fellow Pinterest-ers! I'll be watching.

P.S. You can follow me on Pinterest here: http://pinterest.com/bdavis1984/