The Semi-Single Parent

Last summer my husband got a job after being laid off for a year. I was so thankful! In this recession, especially in the state of Indiana, jobs were (are) hard to come by. We knew going in there would be some traveling, but I told myself I could totally handled it.

Almost a year later, and my husband has been out of town most of the week (meaning four to five days) for the past couple months. Now in case you are new to this blog, especially since I haven't posted in roughly ONE MILLION years, I have three kiddies. My girls (yes all girls) are six, three, and one. I work full time at a fairly stressful job. And I'm fairly active in my church. And now I'm doing it alone most of the time. 

Now I don't want to take anything away from my real single moms. They are amazing. I know when the weekend comes, my husband is coming home, and with him he brings relief. I also don't have the sole financial responsibility, and all the stress that situation brings. With all the being said, semi-single parenting is rough stuff.

There isn't any one thing that makes it rough...in fact it's all the things. It's the moments when you just bathed one of the younger kids, only to find the other one knee deep in pudding. Or when you are putting everyone in bed and you realize that your kindergartner has a project due the next day. And my person favorite, when you realize you are out of milk and you get to take three kids to Walmart just to get a gallon of milk!

In the last couple months I have made some changes, both in my environment and attitude, to help relieve some of the stress.

Number one, I looked at all places that were creating stress. For me, it was that two of my children were going to one child care provider, and the other to another provider (this was because one provider couldn't transport my daughter home from 1/2 day kindergarten), both out of our home. So I was frantically dressing three kids, feeding them breakfast, and trying to get them out the door by 6:50 just so we could be on time. Simple solution, one child care provider, and in our home. I hired a wonderful younger woman from our church, who has went above and beyond including helping with some of the housework (especially the girls' laundry). By the time I took gas into account. The cost is about the same, when you have more children.

Number two, I stopped trying to control everything. I can't make their bedrooms look perfect every night. I can't make a from scratch dinner every night. I can't have a fun imaginative activity planned for every night. MY LIFE IS NOT A TELEVISION SHOW. This is real life! That attitude change made all the difference in the world. 

Number three, I remembered I need downtime too. I need time to scroll through Pinterest. I need time to creep on Facebook. I need time to read. I need time to catch up on my TV shows. And hey, I need time to blog! So sometimes, the laundry can sit in the basket until tomorrow. And the toilet will still need scrubbed tomorrow. I found when I didn't take time for myself that I quickly got resentful. 

There are other things, and maybe I will take time to get to that later. Right now, I'm going to enjoy my favorite downtime activity, that  every mother no matter the situation needs: SLEEP!