The Semi-Single Parent: Part 2 of....

Tonight I was trying to think of the most important thing that has helped me adapt to my family's new lifestyle. I thought of several things. But one thing was coming up as a common point. My friend, who will we call J. 

J and I were not friends in high school even though we went to a small school. She was a year ahead of me, and we didn't travel in the same circles. Somehow, we both ended up in the same town, with Kindergartners who attend the same elementary school. 

J is a single mom. She is also self employed as a hair stylist. She is a fabulous mom. We have become great friends. We do not have the same belief system. We do not have the same style. But it works. J has taught me some very important lessons. 

She has taught me you don't have to pretend your kids are perfect. She has no problem posting about her child's latest antics, both good and bad. She loves him and she celebrates his success but she isn't the type of mom that is jaded to believe that her child walks on water, and we all know those moms. 

She gave me a hair style that I can do in five minutes...FIVE MINUTES! Greatest accomplish ever. Not only that, it's a hair style that I love. She taught me that I can be sexy and cute with short hair that doesn't take much work, just as easily as I can with long hair that takes 45 minutes to do. 

She taught me it's ok to cry. Semi-single (and definitely single) moms have to be strong all the time. You cannot have a break down in the middle of dinner because the day got hard. But when the kids go to bed, it's okay to sit on your bed and have a good cry. Because sometimes it IS overwhelming, and sometimes it IS too much, and sometimes crying is the only to get it out. 

She taught me it is okay to have a good time with out my kids. You don't have to feel bad about wanting to get out of the house with a friend and hang out. As I mentioned yesterday, it is important to have "me time" if not you start to get resentful.

The greatest lesson J taught me is it's ok to ask for help. J and I lean on each other from time to time when we need help. I need a sitter later in the evening than usual. J watches my girls. She has to work on a Saturday she is usually off, and her son comes to play at our house. She helps get my oldest daughter home from school on certain days. 

J has been an example of courage for me. Having a great support system is important. J has told me many times if it weren't for her friends who were there to relieve her when things got too intense, she doesn't know if she could make it. J, along with my sitter & friend, and a few other friends, help me stay sane. Whether it's coming over to take over with the kids for a few, running and getting the milk for me so I don't have to take the kids to the grocery, or just talking with me on the phone at the end of a particular hard day, my support system is what keeps me sane. 

Thanks J - for everything.