I'm tired of guilt.
It comes from everywhere: other moms (if you are a working mom, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about), work, church (and not sinners guilt - that's something totally different), and anyone else in your life who thinks they know better than you.
Is it possible that in some situations a person knows better than you? Yes, of course. To pretend we all know everything about everything is crazy. In my life, everyone thinks they know how I should be spending my time.
Stay at home mom friends (not all, but some) think I should be figuring out how to take my kid to every activity in the tri-county area. Every festival, every free meal giveaway, every free holiday activity must be attended. Guess what? It's not going to happen in my family. And honestly my kids don't want to go to every single thing. They go to school and day care, and like their mom, they like being home just being together. We go to somethings, but we don't have to go to everything.
My job is very flexible - they accommodate the fact that I have kids for the most part, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE working there. But anytime one of them is sick and I need to stay home (or I am sick for that matter) I feel like I have just ruined everyone in my department's day. So now when they are sick I have started freaking out or second guessing myself - no more. If my babies need me, they need me.
I love the church we attend. It is amazing and filled with amazing people. I hold a volunteer position there and I love it. However - sometimes I oversleep. Sometimes we are sick. Sometimes (not for Sundays or midweek) I just need to spend time with my family because I do work. A woman is to care for her household as part of her ministry on this earth. Prov. 31 talks about how valuable a good wife is to a man. I don't like being made to feel guilty when that doesn't fit into the schedule of the church. And from now on I won't. I am there every moment I can be, and I have to do what I feel God is leading me to do.
Once you get married, there are two families to appease. If one of you (or both) happens to come from a home of divorced parents, well, that just makes it all the worse. Everyone wants to do everything and everything thinks they are the most important. And while I love my family (both sides) and my in-laws, I can't make everyone happy. And I'm done worrying about it. First come, first serve, and sometimes I have to say no. Sometimes it is just nice to be my husband, myself, and our ladies.
Now while all of these things bother me - I love each part they play in my life. I just have to remember that my life is the sum of the parts. No part can dominate another, and each must take their turn.
Hey wait a minute...sounds like I have to be the one to stop this from being a problem..darn it, I hate when that happens!
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