Holidays are great. Family is great. Mixing the two? Not always great.
Every year, every holiday, my husband and I do what I like to call the "dinner dance". Where will be having dinner? Will we visit multiple places? What do we have to bring? What will we wear? And the biggest question: Can we make everyone happy?
Of course I want to spend the holiday with my family, and he wants to spend time with his. But we both understand that marrying each other meant we would also have to try to accommodate the other person's family.
The problem is different theologies. I believe in tradition. Let's do the same thing every year. Growing up, we went to one grandma's on Christmas Eve, and one on Christmas Day. No surprises, no running around.
The theology on the other end is a little different. We wait around and beat around the bush, and then plan at the last minute.
99% of the time, it turns out. I run around, schedule and reschedule, cook at the last minute, whatever, and we make it work. 1% we have an issue like this year where only one of our family members makes it to both.
Regardless family is family. You make it work when you can, and hope to God no one kills you when you can't.
What Makes Me Keep Going
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Stop! Too Fast!
After our third baby, we decided we were done. Three was enough (sometimes more than enough) to handle. We love our girls. But knowing we can have no more, it makes me want to slow down time. So tonight, when this happened...
... I cried a bit.
How could this happen? How could she be old enough to be losing teeth? She just got them all!
And then, not five minutes after this happened, our youngest stood for the first time in the living room for about 5 seconds.
That time I cried a lot.
I wanted it to go slow. I wanted to savor every moment of their childhood. But life moves forward. Our children grow. They become cool little people who excite us with the little things like loose teeth, reading their first book, first time they stand, and then first time they tell you that they love you without you saying it first. And even though it made me a little sad, how can you stay sad with this face...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Single Mom-ing It for Three Months? What Is The Worst That Could Happen?
So a possible opportunity for my husband to work out of town and possibly bring in a little more money than usual came up in conversation tonight. "It's a great opportunity, blah blah blah, it would be in Arizona, blah blah blah, I would be gone for three months, blah.." Wait! What? Three months? Now while this whole thing is totally up in the air, and his company has not, as far as I know, secured the contract, he was being dead serious.
As shocking as this announcement had been, I was no where prepared for my response: "Sure I can handle it." I don't even think I believed I was saying it. Three weeks, full time job, volunteer job at the church, three kids with various appointments & activities, not to mention that the first quarter of the year is the busiest for me at work.
But the more I think about it, I can handle it. I have a few great friends who are always willing to help out, a mom that lives close, and a great church family. Any strain will be well worth the money, as we work towards being a debt free family (work towards = walking down a long hard road).
So I will do it, I will hold down the home front. But the day he gets back...I'm taking a spa day!
As shocking as this announcement had been, I was no where prepared for my response: "Sure I can handle it." I don't even think I believed I was saying it. Three weeks, full time job, volunteer job at the church, three kids with various appointments & activities, not to mention that the first quarter of the year is the busiest for me at work.
But the more I think about it, I can handle it. I have a few great friends who are always willing to help out, a mom that lives close, and a great church family. Any strain will be well worth the money, as we work towards being a debt free family (work towards = walking down a long hard road).
So I will do it, I will hold down the home front. But the day he gets back...I'm taking a spa day!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Before Thanksgiving or After Thanksgiving...That Is the Question
Okay, the ultimate question - do you start decorating for Christmas, listening to Christmas music, and/or watching Christmas movies BEFORE or AFTER Thanksgiving?
Personally, I'm an after Thanksgiving person. Give Thanksgivings it's due. Take a minute to thank God for all he has given us before we start the season of "I wants" (look for a future blog on this subject). We are a fairly prompt family, usually the Friday after (Black Friday to my friends who shop....oh wait I see a plug coming...here it is....www.blackfridaybabes.com) Thanksgiving to decorate and start the merriment.
But in my discussions on this topic with other moms, I heard some pretty good reasons to start early:
1. You are going out of town for Christmas. - If you are leaving town for Christmas, then you won't get the full time allotted to enjoy your Christmas decor. So putting it up a little early allows you time to get the full effect.
2. Your family comes from out of town and celebrates Thanksgiving & Christmas at the same time. - For family living some distance away this if very cost effective, and you just can't have Christmas without a tree and stockings right?
3. You are so in love with the holiday you can't take it and you would skip Halloween if you could. - Well there is no reason for this but everyone has their right to the personal preference.
And honestly, that is what it comes down to, personal preference. Because in my recently found wisdom, each family has their own measure on normal, and what works for me and mine, may be a complete deal breaker for you and yours, and honestly who am I to say?
But seriously...give Thanksgiving it's due.
Personally, I'm an after Thanksgiving person. Give Thanksgivings it's due. Take a minute to thank God for all he has given us before we start the season of "I wants" (look for a future blog on this subject). We are a fairly prompt family, usually the Friday after (Black Friday to my friends who shop....oh wait I see a plug coming...here it is....www.blackfridaybabes.com) Thanksgiving to decorate and start the merriment.
But in my discussions on this topic with other moms, I heard some pretty good reasons to start early:
1. You are going out of town for Christmas. - If you are leaving town for Christmas, then you won't get the full time allotted to enjoy your Christmas decor. So putting it up a little early allows you time to get the full effect.
2. Your family comes from out of town and celebrates Thanksgiving & Christmas at the same time. - For family living some distance away this if very cost effective, and you just can't have Christmas without a tree and stockings right?
3. You are so in love with the holiday you can't take it and you would skip Halloween if you could. - Well there is no reason for this but everyone has their right to the personal preference.
And honestly, that is what it comes down to, personal preference. Because in my recently found wisdom, each family has their own measure on normal, and what works for me and mine, may be a complete deal breaker for you and yours, and honestly who am I to say?
But seriously...give Thanksgiving it's due.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Holiday Shopping...How to Do It Right
Ah, 'tis the season....for shopping. For some people, like me, it's a frantic search for the right gift at the last moment, or whenever I can get a babysitter to watch the troops. For some people, like my friend Leann Winton and her family, it is an art, and their biggest show is Black Friday.
They plan. They prepare. They drink coffee. And best yet, they have uniforms.
They plan. They prepare. They drink coffee. And best yet, they have uniforms.
And now they are making their uniform available to the public. They have several different cuts of this shirt all sporting this very chic design. They have this cut for the skinny minis out there, and regular tee shirts for us normal people. They have bags to carry all your 1/2 priced, marked down gifts in. They have iPad/Kindle sleeves so you can carry your game plan and ads with you all day. And tons of other products.
Any good competitive sports team, needs a great stylish uniform. And I have never seen anything more competitive than hundreds of women searching for the same 1/2 priced blender.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The Beauty of Silence
No brainer - all mom's want silence and we want it now!
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
The Beauty of Silence
No brainer - all mom's want silence and we want it now!
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
But what do we do with silence? We immediately fill it up. Television we are behind on (what did we do before DVRs and Hulu?), phone calls, youtube videos...all recreational stuff we have a hard time fitting in, but none of it is silent.
Then even if there is a silence, we fill it up with thoughts. Not peaceful tranquil thoughts, or thoughts of reflection and/or inflection, no we fill it up with mental lists. To do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Plans for the holidays. Plans for the weekend. Schedules.
How do moms over come this inability to find silence? I'm not sure. It seems completely against our nature to not worry, to not plan, to not have an overall concern for the matters of our home.
I don't have the answer, but I have a suggestion...one bath tub filled to the brim with bubbles. Candles. No music, no books. Climb in. Deep breath in, and out. Clear your mind, see how long you can keep it that way. I think it is like exercise. First time maybe 2 or 3 minutes, next time 5 or 6...but as most trainers say repetition is key. And I agree.
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